Ever thought about the things that run through your mind, between the time you decide to sleep and actually dropping off?
Your pillow needs to be puffed up, you try the left side and then the right, you are likely to leave one leg on top of the duvet, but not for long because it gets a bit cold. Not forgetting there’s always an itch that needs to be dealt with.
We all play back our day in a really jumbled up way, sometimes we force our thoughts to focus on a single event, or even switch between a few things. I do, every night and never gave it much thought to be honest, till now. Its odd isn’t it, how you sometimes dwell on good exciting or interesting recalls and other times it’s as if you remind yourself that you messed up, or didn’t do something, didn’t call someone or spoke harshly or abruptly to someone who really didn’t deserve it, could have been me. Then it’s a full on played out dilemma playing live in your head. No wonder I can’t fall asleep.
I’ve accepted now that I can’t go to sleep with all nice fluffy thoughts flicking through my minds pages, and the reality is that none of us can. With me, it’s a case of acceptance and knowing that when I wake up I have the opportunity to design my day in my actions. If I want nice pleasant thoughts last thing at night then I have to earn them, always counteracting the negatives along the way, because I don’t need negatives. I think this can only make me a better person, nicer to be around and a pleasure to approach, don’t miss-understand I’m a nice guy naturally, but really this is only my own opinion of myself and can never be validated. Am I really as nice as I think I am, can’t be can I, if I allow regrets or silly mistakes in my day then it must mean that tomorrow I need to try harder.
We all need to try to be the best we can, not only too ourselves but also to the people we interact with everyday, our family, our work peers, the bus driver…. I’ll try tomorrow to be nice to the people who were invisible to me / you today, it’s not hard and will certainly put a big tick in the nice ‘fluffy thought box”
These are my thought’s before I sleep.
Thank you for reading.